Machinemanship

IBM Pollyanna Principle:
Machines should work; people should think.

Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Jenning's Corollary:
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Klipstein's Corollary:
The most delicate component will be the one to drop.

Anthony's Law of The Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll in to the least accessible corner of the workshop.
Corollary:
On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.

Law of Annoyance:
When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.

Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.

Horner's Five-Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with equipement ruined.

Cahn's Axiom:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Jenkinson's Law:
It won't work.

Taken from Arthur Bloch's "MURPHY'S LAW, and other reasons why things go wrong" book.

'if anything can go wrong, it will'